I have been in the certification process now for almost a month. Probably the most important thing for me to keep in mind is to apply what I learn to myself first, as opposed to simply trying to absorb the information. Just about everything I study, whether it is about anger, forgiveness, depression or whatever, has met me with the conviction of how far I fall short. Being that Nouthetic counseling holds to the biblical position that ALL of our problems are a result of sin and living in a fallen world (again, there is not a denial of organic issues, but these, while not a result of personal sin and might necessitate medication, still exist because we live in a fallen world), I have found myself doing a lot of self-examination. I have come to several conclusions.
The first is that I do not take my sin very seriously. I think that I fall into the error of minimalizing sin so that grace may abound like Paul discusses in Romans. I never would have thought that I do that, in fact any time I've read that passage I think how absurd the notion is! But I do. Not only do I generally minimize the wickedness of my sin, but I tend to judge the seriousness of sin according to its consequences upon my life or another's. The Holy Spirit used that to show me that while I don't take my sin seriously, the real issue is that I do not take the weightiness of God's glory and holiness very seriously either. I do not cry out with David "against You and You only have I sinned!" Instead I cry "God forgive me, but I don't think the consequences are going to be that bad, and I know your grace is infinite, so lets just keep the status quo." Essentially, I tend to place myself at least on par with God.
Praise God for His mercy! It has led me into genuine repentance over several willful and persistent sins in my life. How I desire to feel the weightiness of His glory and majesty, and to meditate on the fullness of being found in Christ. God give me the grace to hear Paul urging the church to offer their bodies as living sacrifices, in light of God's great mercy (Rom 12). I want to lose my life, so that I may find it (Matt 10:39). What joy and power and true life we can find in this great seeming contradiction! Christ bids us "come and die," and there united with Him in His death, we can find the power of His resurrection at work within us. I must deal with my sin swiftly, decisively, and daily. My hope is knowing that "He who began the good work in you will be faithful to complete it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" (Php 1:8). What a hope to sinners!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Sometimes counseling MEANS suffering
If someone approached you and said that sometimes in the counseling process it is determined that suffering is right where you need to be, how would you respond? If your first thought would be "wait a minute, that can't be right, the whole purpose of counseling is to alleviate suffering!", then you are probably where the majority of Americans and American churches are. You are missing the point of your faith, if the point of your faith is Christ-likeness. This is something that God has been working on in my life since I resigned as Pastor of a church in Indiana. Suffering is sanctifying, and we, as Believers, are promised to go through it.
One of the biggest problems with secular, or even intigrationist counseling, is that it ultimately takes a man-centered approach to counseling. The whole point is to alleviate pain and suffering. While that is oversimplifying the point, this is a blog, not a dissertation and so we'll move on. On the other hand, the objective of Nouthetic counseling is to bring glory to God by aligning yourself with His will through progressive sanctification. The goal is Christ-likeness, which is the goal of our faith.
Christ was called "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief," regularly He wept over the sins of others and of Israel, sweat drops of blood in the garden over His upcoming separation from the Father, and promises to His Bride (the Church) that if He suffered, we will suffer; if the world hated Him, the world will hate us; and that though we will suffer in this world, we can take heart because He has overcome the world! Suffering is not only a reality, but a necessity in the Sovereign will of God. Romans 5 tells us that suffering has a sanctifying effect in the lives of Believers, and in the end actually leads to hope as we humble ourselves and submit to God in it.
So far my examples have been mostly situations where our suffering comes from without, from other people, but what about when our suffering is brought on from our battle within...our battle with our own sinful self? Christ tells us that if we are to be His, that we must take up our cross and follow Him. Paul, in Galatians tells us that we have been crucified with Christ, therefore we no longer live, but Christ lives within us. Scripture is clear that while we are redeemed, we are still redeemed sinners, and that we must daily seek to mortify our flesh and wage war against it! Jesus tells us to take drastic matters, such as plucking out your own eye if it causes offense to God. Sin leads to death, and on the way to death can express itself in so many ways, such as depression, anxiety, fear, worry, obsessive compulsive disorder, eating disorders, suicide etc. Sometimes to avoid these awful feelings we turn to substances that will mask them, rather than allowing them to humble us before God (I know I have).
Yes, as Christians we will (or at least should, if you're doing it right) suffer as we live in this world. In that case suffering is good and glorifying to God and we should not always seek to relieve it. Also, as Christians, we will suffer and be wounded in our fight against sin, this type of suffering (or discipline) should also not immediately seek to be relieved because God intends for it to serve a redemptive and sanctifying purpose as we allow it to submit us to God in humility. Some of the great men and pillars of our faith as well as men of God that I know now struggle with what we have labeled as depression. I can say with certainty, that some professional counselor seeking to remedy the situation is the last thing God wants. Rather, I believe He would say, as He said to Paul "My grace is sufficient for you", and as He said to the disciples "take heart, for I have overcome the world." My point, is that the goal of the Counselor is not to simply "get rid of the pain." Many times the pain is a severe mercy, and the person seeking counsel as well as the counselor must recognize that God has ordained that the situation bring glory to Himself and greater Christ-likeness to the one going through it. Once that step has been taken, then it is through prayer, discernment and the Word that should dictate if and how the suffering be alleviated.
If you are suffering today, remember that God is waiting to be to you the God of all comfort, even if it is to be within the fire, and not by removing you from it. Let suffering have its work, He promises to use it for good.
One of the biggest problems with secular, or even intigrationist counseling, is that it ultimately takes a man-centered approach to counseling. The whole point is to alleviate pain and suffering. While that is oversimplifying the point, this is a blog, not a dissertation and so we'll move on. On the other hand, the objective of Nouthetic counseling is to bring glory to God by aligning yourself with His will through progressive sanctification. The goal is Christ-likeness, which is the goal of our faith.
Christ was called "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief," regularly He wept over the sins of others and of Israel, sweat drops of blood in the garden over His upcoming separation from the Father, and promises to His Bride (the Church) that if He suffered, we will suffer; if the world hated Him, the world will hate us; and that though we will suffer in this world, we can take heart because He has overcome the world! Suffering is not only a reality, but a necessity in the Sovereign will of God. Romans 5 tells us that suffering has a sanctifying effect in the lives of Believers, and in the end actually leads to hope as we humble ourselves and submit to God in it.
So far my examples have been mostly situations where our suffering comes from without, from other people, but what about when our suffering is brought on from our battle within...our battle with our own sinful self? Christ tells us that if we are to be His, that we must take up our cross and follow Him. Paul, in Galatians tells us that we have been crucified with Christ, therefore we no longer live, but Christ lives within us. Scripture is clear that while we are redeemed, we are still redeemed sinners, and that we must daily seek to mortify our flesh and wage war against it! Jesus tells us to take drastic matters, such as plucking out your own eye if it causes offense to God. Sin leads to death, and on the way to death can express itself in so many ways, such as depression, anxiety, fear, worry, obsessive compulsive disorder, eating disorders, suicide etc. Sometimes to avoid these awful feelings we turn to substances that will mask them, rather than allowing them to humble us before God (I know I have).
Yes, as Christians we will (or at least should, if you're doing it right) suffer as we live in this world. In that case suffering is good and glorifying to God and we should not always seek to relieve it. Also, as Christians, we will suffer and be wounded in our fight against sin, this type of suffering (or discipline) should also not immediately seek to be relieved because God intends for it to serve a redemptive and sanctifying purpose as we allow it to submit us to God in humility. Some of the great men and pillars of our faith as well as men of God that I know now struggle with what we have labeled as depression. I can say with certainty, that some professional counselor seeking to remedy the situation is the last thing God wants. Rather, I believe He would say, as He said to Paul "My grace is sufficient for you", and as He said to the disciples "take heart, for I have overcome the world." My point, is that the goal of the Counselor is not to simply "get rid of the pain." Many times the pain is a severe mercy, and the person seeking counsel as well as the counselor must recognize that God has ordained that the situation bring glory to Himself and greater Christ-likeness to the one going through it. Once that step has been taken, then it is through prayer, discernment and the Word that should dictate if and how the suffering be alleviated.
If you are suffering today, remember that God is waiting to be to you the God of all comfort, even if it is to be within the fire, and not by removing you from it. Let suffering have its work, He promises to use it for good.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Where the Hell?
"Rock star" of the Emergent church, Rob Bell has recently published a new book "Love Wins: Heaven, Hell and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived." While the book is not set to release until March 15th, it has already created massive controversy and brings the question of heresy to the forefront of the discussion. In his book, Bell supposedly espouses the notion that a loving God and loving Savior a: would never condemn anyone to hell, and b: that the love of God is more powerful than any sin, therefore, no one is going to hell.
This does seem to be wonderful, right? Unfortunately, it would be devastating. First, it makes a mockery of the Holiness and Justice of God. All those stories of God obliterating entire Nations in the Old Testament are meant to show us one thing: that God is intensely jealous of His own Glory and Holiness, and that all those who offend it are objects of wrath and in need of a Savior...Jesus Christ. Secondly, it dethrones God of His rightful place in the center of the universe and places us there. If Bell is right, then ultimately we are more valuable to God than He is to us, He obviously needs us in some way in order to be complete. Third, it joins the angry mob at Calvary and spits on Christ at the cross. While it would seem to magnify His love, it actually makes a mockery of it. Christ's love shown on the cross is intensely focused on redeeming His Bride, the church, and that out of a white hot passion for the glory of the Father. If His sacrifice covers literally the sins of the world, then that means it includes the sin of unbelief. It includes atheists, totalitarians, secular humanists, racists etc. I do not think God receives any glory in that. He receives glory when people like that, by grace through faith, turn from their sins in humble repentance and confess Christ as Lord and Savior. Fourth, it completely destroys the truth God's Word, the Bible...it becomes heresy.
So how does Nouthetic counseling fit in? Like the Law in the Bible, disorders point us to one main truth...we have a serious problem. Sin, and being sinners by nature and objects of Gods wrath (Eph 2:1-3). Not only are disorders able to be used by the Spirit to bring an awareness of our natural state, but they are also able to bring a small taste of what Bell would consider to be an impossibility pertaining to our potential eternal state, Hell. Anyone who has suffered from depression, OCD, suicidal thoughts, addiction to pornography, eating disorders etc, can attest to intense anguish and tears...temporarily. In Matthew 8:12 Jesus Himself attests to the reality of a place of eternal "outer darkness...weeping and gnashing of teeth". But (see Eph 2:4-10), He also holds out hope, peace, atonement for sins, and the means of being eternally restored to the Father by His blood. If He is able to redeem us from our eternal state, is He unable to restore us from our temporal state?
To verify what I have said about Bell's new book you can check out his website and watch a short video about it.
This does seem to be wonderful, right? Unfortunately, it would be devastating. First, it makes a mockery of the Holiness and Justice of God. All those stories of God obliterating entire Nations in the Old Testament are meant to show us one thing: that God is intensely jealous of His own Glory and Holiness, and that all those who offend it are objects of wrath and in need of a Savior...Jesus Christ. Secondly, it dethrones God of His rightful place in the center of the universe and places us there. If Bell is right, then ultimately we are more valuable to God than He is to us, He obviously needs us in some way in order to be complete. Third, it joins the angry mob at Calvary and spits on Christ at the cross. While it would seem to magnify His love, it actually makes a mockery of it. Christ's love shown on the cross is intensely focused on redeeming His Bride, the church, and that out of a white hot passion for the glory of the Father. If His sacrifice covers literally the sins of the world, then that means it includes the sin of unbelief. It includes atheists, totalitarians, secular humanists, racists etc. I do not think God receives any glory in that. He receives glory when people like that, by grace through faith, turn from their sins in humble repentance and confess Christ as Lord and Savior. Fourth, it completely destroys the truth God's Word, the Bible...it becomes heresy.
So how does Nouthetic counseling fit in? Like the Law in the Bible, disorders point us to one main truth...we have a serious problem. Sin, and being sinners by nature and objects of Gods wrath (Eph 2:1-3). Not only are disorders able to be used by the Spirit to bring an awareness of our natural state, but they are also able to bring a small taste of what Bell would consider to be an impossibility pertaining to our potential eternal state, Hell. Anyone who has suffered from depression, OCD, suicidal thoughts, addiction to pornography, eating disorders etc, can attest to intense anguish and tears...temporarily. In Matthew 8:12 Jesus Himself attests to the reality of a place of eternal "outer darkness...weeping and gnashing of teeth". But (see Eph 2:4-10), He also holds out hope, peace, atonement for sins, and the means of being eternally restored to the Father by His blood. If He is able to redeem us from our eternal state, is He unable to restore us from our temporal state?
To verify what I have said about Bell's new book you can check out his website and watch a short video about it.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Therapy, miracles, and pudding
I guess this is where you have to say the proof is in the pudding. Biblical counseling, at its core is not really about the method or even the wisdom of the words in the Bible. At its core, it is about the Source of the words...the power and authority from whom they come.
I say the proof is in the pudding because therapy is all about results, whether it's self-enlightenment, finding your inner child, revisiting failures in previous life stages or shaping behavior. This is where Nouthetic counseling runs circles around all other secular methods. Using scripture puts us in intimate contact with the power of the One who spoke the words...who spoke the universe and everything in it into existence, who took on flesh and spoke audibly on this earth for thirty years.
My daughter is unable to speak, she has a neurological disorder called Apraxia. She was evaluated today and placed in the lower 1 percent for her age in expressive communication. This was actually a blessing because we are now able to get therapy once a week for free, which helped immensly and in itself is an answer to prayer (thank you again to those who prayed for us today). I understand her situation is not a counseling situation, but it is a testimony to the power of praying friends, family and church. It is also a testimony to the strength God provides to two parents when, in weakness, fall upon His word and promises and submit themselves to say "not our will, but yours be done."
Tonight Amelia quadrupled her vocabulary. She said 6 words we have never heard before and three new vowel sounds. I also overheard her mimicking the lady on her therapy DVD. These are all things that she needed to happen and that we, and others, have been praying for. This, if you understand Apraxia at all, is a miracle! She should not have been able to do those things, especially not all at once.
I have witnessed a coma patient wake up at the exact day and time prayed for in ICU, I have seen OCD overcome immediately through reading Scripture and prayer, and I have now seen a beautiful little girl who is not supposed to speak without years of therapy open her mouth and do just that. Gods power crosses all boundaries whether mental, emotional, physical or spiritual, and is powerful to divide between soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It places us directly in the way of the most powerful force in the universe, and if we will humble ourselves before Him, it will do its work upon us. God says that His word will not return to Him void, but will accomplish its purpose! I have seen that this is true.
I say the proof is in the pudding because therapy is all about results, whether it's self-enlightenment, finding your inner child, revisiting failures in previous life stages or shaping behavior. This is where Nouthetic counseling runs circles around all other secular methods. Using scripture puts us in intimate contact with the power of the One who spoke the words...who spoke the universe and everything in it into existence, who took on flesh and spoke audibly on this earth for thirty years.
My daughter is unable to speak, she has a neurological disorder called Apraxia. She was evaluated today and placed in the lower 1 percent for her age in expressive communication. This was actually a blessing because we are now able to get therapy once a week for free, which helped immensly and in itself is an answer to prayer (thank you again to those who prayed for us today). I understand her situation is not a counseling situation, but it is a testimony to the power of praying friends, family and church. It is also a testimony to the strength God provides to two parents when, in weakness, fall upon His word and promises and submit themselves to say "not our will, but yours be done."
Tonight Amelia quadrupled her vocabulary. She said 6 words we have never heard before and three new vowel sounds. I also overheard her mimicking the lady on her therapy DVD. These are all things that she needed to happen and that we, and others, have been praying for. This, if you understand Apraxia at all, is a miracle! She should not have been able to do those things, especially not all at once.
I have witnessed a coma patient wake up at the exact day and time prayed for in ICU, I have seen OCD overcome immediately through reading Scripture and prayer, and I have now seen a beautiful little girl who is not supposed to speak without years of therapy open her mouth and do just that. Gods power crosses all boundaries whether mental, emotional, physical or spiritual, and is powerful to divide between soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It places us directly in the way of the most powerful force in the universe, and if we will humble ourselves before Him, it will do its work upon us. God says that His word will not return to Him void, but will accomplish its purpose! I have seen that this is true.
Monday, March 7, 2011
What the heck does nouthetic mean?
I have had several people ask me what the heck nouthetic counseling is, so here it goes.
I suppose the best way to start is to share the definition given by the National Association of Nouthetic Counseling...NANC.
The word nouthetic comes from the Greek word nouqesia (nouthesia). It is a compound word meaning literally “to place into the mind.” It is usually translated “admonish” but that is a most inadequate translation. The problem is there is no English word equivalent to nouthesia so Adams thought it best to simply transliterate it into English and coin his own word so he could be sure it was defined correctly. In the word Adams finds three aspects:
http://nanc.org/About_Us/History.aspx
The basic idea is that all man is fallen in Adam and continues in sin from birth. The noetic effects of sin on man is that the entire person is completely corrupted, an object of God's wrath and unable to come to the Truth apart from a divine work upon the heart, soul and mind. Since that is true according to Scripture, then it is also true that any inorganic mental disorder is a result of sin and mans fallen nature. To deal specifically with a persons "disorder" or dysfunctional behavior is to simply plug a hole in the dam, the deeper issue is the besetting sin behind it. To further the analogy, if we are the dam and our sin is the mass of water contained behind it simply plugging holes where water (our sin) seeps through might solve the problem temporarily. That is, until another breech is found and then another and so on. A biblical approach to the matter would say that in Christ, as we come to a deeper knowledge and love of Himself, the water level itself begins to recede and while we are still frail and imperfect beings, as we abide in Christ, sin and its manifestations, will become less and less and we are conformed more and more into His image (2Pt 1:3-4).
Note: The reason I say any "inorganic mental disorder," is because most nouthetic counselors do recognize that there are certain organic (due to genetics or chemical imbalance) disorders which would occasionally require the use of medications.
I suppose the best way to start is to share the definition given by the National Association of Nouthetic Counseling...NANC.
The word nouthetic comes from the Greek word nouqesia (nouthesia). It is a compound word meaning literally “to place into the mind.” It is usually translated “admonish” but that is a most inadequate translation. The problem is there is no English word equivalent to nouthesia so Adams thought it best to simply transliterate it into English and coin his own word so he could be sure it was defined correctly. In the word Adams finds three aspects:
- The counselee has problems resulting from sin that must be resolved God’s way.
- These problems must be resolved by verbal confrontation using the Scriptures.
- The resolution must be done out of love for the counselee to help him love God and enjoy Him in his life.[4]
http://nanc.org/About_Us/History.aspx
The basic idea is that all man is fallen in Adam and continues in sin from birth. The noetic effects of sin on man is that the entire person is completely corrupted, an object of God's wrath and unable to come to the Truth apart from a divine work upon the heart, soul and mind. Since that is true according to Scripture, then it is also true that any inorganic mental disorder is a result of sin and mans fallen nature. To deal specifically with a persons "disorder" or dysfunctional behavior is to simply plug a hole in the dam, the deeper issue is the besetting sin behind it. To further the analogy, if we are the dam and our sin is the mass of water contained behind it simply plugging holes where water (our sin) seeps through might solve the problem temporarily. That is, until another breech is found and then another and so on. A biblical approach to the matter would say that in Christ, as we come to a deeper knowledge and love of Himself, the water level itself begins to recede and while we are still frail and imperfect beings, as we abide in Christ, sin and its manifestations, will become less and less and we are conformed more and more into His image (2Pt 1:3-4).
Note: The reason I say any "inorganic mental disorder," is because most nouthetic counselors do recognize that there are certain organic (due to genetics or chemical imbalance) disorders which would occasionally require the use of medications.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Marriage and the Bride
Amy and I lead a growth group in our church, and we are currently working through the book: This Momentary Marriage, by John Piper. Marriage and the family have been a passion of mine for about a decade. It started by witnessing Gods restoration of my parents marriage which led to pursuing a Masters in Marriage and Family therapy and, eventually deciding to pursue a strictly biblical method of counseling. Marriages are probably where I have seen God do the greatest works of restoration and healing. While every step and breath of every humans life is ordained by God, marriage I believe, is something truly close to His heart because He designed it to bring Him much glory in a unique way.
Marriage is unique because it was designed by God to reflect who He is, specifically in Christ's relationship to the church and even in the distinct roles between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. This truth, when understood, exponentially increases the grevious state of marriage in America and even more so within the church. Not only should it drive us to our knees in humble repentance over the state of our own marriages, but should also will bring an immense hope and even joy in the midst of even the worst of marital circumstances!
While we seem to read 1 Cor 13 (the love chapter) in the context of our horizontal relationships, which is a true application, we must first understand love as a thing that is born in God. We see this most clearly through Christ, and the redemption of His Bride by His death and ressurection. All for the sake of His Fathers glory. As Jesus perfectly exemplified all the characteristics of love described in 1Cor 13 toward us, we are commanded to reflect that love towards our spouses...does that not just bring you to your knees in humility! How can we possibly indite our spouses when we know our own hearts and see Christ's love for us despite it. The good news and our reason to hope, is that we KNOW through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and the faith which He gives, our love for our spouse can endure and not fail (in our weakness Christ's strength rests on us). You can walk in victory in your marriage!
So we see how understanding and knowing God's love for us vertically not only informs but enables our love to others (specifically towards our spouse) horizontally, lets look quickly at how it not only informs and enables our love, but commands it, specifically within the covenant of marriage.
Ephesians 5:22-27 commands wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord, and for husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church. This is why I say that marriage was created by God to not only bring Him glory, but to bring Him glory by reflecting Him as our loving and Covenant keeping God. To give up on or break the covenant we have made with our spouses is to proclaim with our lives, that Christ is either not faithful to uphold covenant love or not powerful to uphold it. As Christ took up His cross and redeemed His Bride in submission to and for the glory of the Father, we are able to and must also love our spouses well, first and formost in submission to and for the glory of our Father.
Marriage is unique because it was designed by God to reflect who He is, specifically in Christ's relationship to the church and even in the distinct roles between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. This truth, when understood, exponentially increases the grevious state of marriage in America and even more so within the church. Not only should it drive us to our knees in humble repentance over the state of our own marriages, but should also will bring an immense hope and even joy in the midst of even the worst of marital circumstances!
While we seem to read 1 Cor 13 (the love chapter) in the context of our horizontal relationships, which is a true application, we must first understand love as a thing that is born in God. We see this most clearly through Christ, and the redemption of His Bride by His death and ressurection. All for the sake of His Fathers glory. As Jesus perfectly exemplified all the characteristics of love described in 1Cor 13 toward us, we are commanded to reflect that love towards our spouses...does that not just bring you to your knees in humility! How can we possibly indite our spouses when we know our own hearts and see Christ's love for us despite it. The good news and our reason to hope, is that we KNOW through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and the faith which He gives, our love for our spouse can endure and not fail (in our weakness Christ's strength rests on us). You can walk in victory in your marriage!
So we see how understanding and knowing God's love for us vertically not only informs but enables our love to others (specifically towards our spouse) horizontally, lets look quickly at how it not only informs and enables our love, but commands it, specifically within the covenant of marriage.
Ephesians 5:22-27 commands wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord, and for husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church. This is why I say that marriage was created by God to not only bring Him glory, but to bring Him glory by reflecting Him as our loving and Covenant keeping God. To give up on or break the covenant we have made with our spouses is to proclaim with our lives, that Christ is either not faithful to uphold covenant love or not powerful to uphold it. As Christ took up His cross and redeemed His Bride in submission to and for the glory of the Father, we are able to and must also love our spouses well, first and formost in submission to and for the glory of our Father.
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