Men and fire

We often have our definition of what it means to be a man defined for us by our surroundings.  This leads to unmanly insecurity...my job is not enough, my income is not enough, my physical appearancxe is not enough.  Beware of a false identity!
 
In 2 Timothy Paul identifies a man as one who is worthy of entrusting the gospel to so that they may teach others.  In the "new" NIV, the translation of the verse to says to "entrust this to faithful 'people'." 

Men, you are the primary ones called to be faithful to be entrusted with the teaching of the gospel, and to entrust that teaching to other faithful men.
 
This weekend I met with faithful men who have been entrusted to teach the gospel, and with their sons who represent the next faithful generation of those who will guard this good deposit.

The fire burned, we played football, manhunnt, and capture the flag.  We grilled, we ate, and some more, but at the end of the LONG day, the gospel was proclaimed, taught and entrusted!

In the attitude of Paul, I say good job!  Do it more and more, continue to do so!  Do not lose your identity or the identity of your sons, to a worldly identification of what it means to be men...true men.

In other words, define yourself as Christ defines you.

Who's your daddy!?!?

I currently work for a local middle school who practices a wonderful educational philosophy.  They believe that the responsibility for a  students education is something to be shared and taken ownership of by the parent.  The school week is three days a week in class and two days a week being taught at home, with an increasing emphasis on a university-type model of responsibility placed on the student as they enter highschool.

I believe this creates an amazing dynamic in the educating process where "ownership" lies not only on the teachers, but on the parents and eventually the students themselves. 

The result seems to be a more advanced level of overall maturity and internal concreteness.  To say it another way, I see an advanced level of maturity that effects not only the mind, but the heart and soul as well.  They seem to know what they know and why at a fairly young age.

It has brought about in me a deeper conviction that I must be diligent and intentional to create spiritual teaching situations along the lines of Deuteronomy 6:7-9.

I am convinced that this type of intentional outpouring would have dramatic effects on the next generation of believers in America. 

It seems as though parents (dads in particular) have become content to pass the burden of responsibility of learning to the teachers, athletics to coaches, spiritual growth to youth Pastors, and the investment of time to the Playstation or iPod.  How do we expect our children to develop into "healthy" adults with so many and often contradicting influences?  Thank God for medication?

The resulting consequence of not practicing Deut. 6:7-9 is found in Deuteronomy 6:12-15.  If we do not do these things, we will forget the Lord who is in our midst and He will "destroy you form off the face of the earth." 

We are weak and unable to meet such a task-- I see this clearly in my own heart.  May we say humbly with Thomas "Lord I believe, help my unbelief" so that we may say with Paul "My grace is sufficient for you...Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

God and Freud

An article by Fox news, explains how this student (Julea) has been kicked out of her counseling program because she refused to provide counseling services to a co-student who was homosexual and seeking counsel for her relationship with her partner.

Julea sighted her religious beliefs as reason for referring her co-student to another therapist.  The University's rationale in removing Julea from their program was that they were follow the American Counseling Association's code of ethics.

This, in my opinion, is the real danger of seeking to counsel from a secular, state licensed position.  Apart from believeing that the secular theories are incompatible with Scripture, the ultimate concern is that you are placing yourself under the authority and guidelines of the state.

You are putting yourself in the position that Believers have been trying to seperate themselves from since the founding of our Country.  Counseling belongs where it began, in the church, not in the offices of the "professionals."   This point is forcefully driven home in the above article and is a clear definition of why, fundamentally, Freud and God cannot co-exist in the counseling world.

When those who dominate a discipline are largely secular humanisits, their influence will go beyond mere diagnostics and seek to also define a code of ethics.  The main rule of their code will be the freedom of the individual to do what is right in his own eyes....their is no code of ethics, except that you cannot discriminate.

photo credit

Where does it hurt?

I wanted to share this song that my wife told me about by Laura Story.  When I first listened to it I was amazed, not only because of the Truth that it proclaims but also because it proclaims a Truth that unfortunately is not very popular.

Nobody likes pain.  Whether it's physical, mental or spiritual pain is something that most people will attempt to alleviate as quickly as possible.  Whether you are seeing a Dr. or seeking counseling the idea is to make the pain go away.

God sees pain much differently.  He sees it as a severe mercy and grace.  While this may at first seem cruel, it is actually glorious!  Our pain, whatever it is, will always be used by God for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28-32).  Our greatest good is always going to be to know God and be more conformed into the image of His Son, and Gods glory is that in all things He will be made much of by us.

What a contrast to our perception of what "our good" looks like!  Most of the time it simply equates to feeling better either physically or about ourselves.

I pray this song serves to bring you peace if you are in pain and helps us all to see more clearly Gods redemptive purposes through suffering to the praise of His glory.

Casey Anthony: The Psychology of a Liar Part II

Once again we were able to eye witness the life of a woman utterly consumed by sin and lies.  In fact the Defense is now trying to bring in a mental health professional in order to justify, to some degree, her obvious depravity.

While it is easy to look at a woman like Casey and cast judgement, we must keep in mind that the same sin which consumes her lies also in us.  Certainly her alleged actions warrant legal justice, but there is another truth at work.

All of us, by the sinful nature in us eternally offend an infinitely just and holy God.  While the sins we commit may vary in degree, the nature, consequence before God, and capacity to master and consume us does not.

The wrath of God poured out upon sin, from the smallest of lies to the greatest, is displayed in Christ on the cross.  As the song reminds us, "it was my sin that held Him there."  It is only by the saving and sanctifying grace of God through Christ that keeps us from standing on trial before the Father.  Our only defense and justification is the blood of Christ poured out for us!

The same nature of sin which drives Casey to do what she did lies also in me.  To paraphrase the Reformer John Bradford...There but for the grace of God, go I.

Casey Anthony: The Psychology of a Liar

We have had continuous coverage of the Casey Anthony trial, and I must admit that it is both incredibly facinating and disturbing.

It is almost impossible to hear the testimonies of the detectives, the recordings of her lie fillied statements, and to see the completely detatched and almost uninterested look on her face without thinking she must be mentally ill.

While there is certainly the possibility that she might have some psychotic disorder, I cannot believe it, even though it takes a conscious effort not to.  I think Scripture gives us a much better explanation.

Romans 1:21-25 explains how God will give a person over to futility of mind and darkness of heart when the glory of His power and Deity as displayed in the creation are continually denied and rebelled against.  Essentially it describes a deeper and more complete level of depravity due to sin as He removes some of His common or restraining grace from an individual.

I beleive this is what we are seeing as we watch a woman who has alledgedly emmersed herself in a fully fabricated life, and for some undisclosed motive has possibly murdered her own daughter.  At the very least has covered up her death to protect herself.

Make no mistake, this is a clear display of the devestating effect of sin as it masters a persons life.

It is so important as Believers that we maintain a biblical framework as we percieve what goes on in this world.  As easy as it would be to see this woman and label her with some type of "mental disorder" we must not do it.

Should we allow ourselves to begin to percieve her in this way we have taken the first step towards removing her from the responsibility of her actions thereby removing, to some degree, her guilt.  That is the danger of percieving our world through the glasses of a secular worldview as opposed to a biblical one.

When Life Gives You Tornadoes, Submit to Christ and Find Salvation

It's been two and a half weeks since my last post.  I have had difficulty thinking of anything to write and even feeling any kind of motivation to do so.  I think it is because of both circumstances and conviction that I have run into this problem

On April 27th we started out driving to Alabama to see Amy's parents.  As we were driving in early that morning we found ourselves in the midst of potential tornadoes, and actually drove through one about  an hour east of Birmingham.  Late that afternoon, we experienced first hand what would become the deadliest tornado outbreak in US history since the 20's.

Over the last week or so we have found ourselves in the midst of other personal circumstances that have been extremely challenging and stressful.  As difficult personal circumstances often due, I have found myself asking God lots of questions.  As God often does, those questions have been used by His Spirit to bring both comfort and conviction of sin.

When difficult circumstances arise out of God's Providence, it seems that we have two basic options in our response:  We can either become angry, discouraged and depressed, or we can allow God to use those circumstances to humble ourselves before Him and trust His promises such as Rom 8:28.  To make this decision, we need a better example.

Philippians 2:5-13
5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, [1] 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, [2] being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.12 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

This passage has become God's grace and mercy to me in my situation, as it has caused me to look to Christ in His.  As the sinless God-Man took the form of a servant and humbled Himself to the point of death on a cross to the glory of the Father, how could I, as a sinner saved by Grace, go through my situations and not respond in the same way?

vs. 5 His sinless righteousness and the victory of His death and resurrection are mine!

vs. 6-8 All that I am and have in Christ, though I deserve destruction, was because of His great humility and sacrifice displayed in the crucifixion.

vs. 9-11 Because of His obedience in death, I am now the servant and brother of a risen and glorified King who will continue to reign in victory, displayed ultimately in the consummation of all things when every knee shall bow before Christ, to the glory of the Father.

vs. 12 In light of these glorious truths, how can I not also follow Christ in obedience and submission as I work out the salvation He has purchased for me!?!

vs. 13 I must work it out in the fear of the Lord as it is God Himself working in me, for the sake of His own glory.

Even if the circumstance of my life lead to an outcome that is not what I would want, I can and I must, respond to these circumstances as Christ did...with obedience and submission to the will of the Father, for the sake of His glory!  At first glance, this seems almost like a miserable and legalistic existence, but I must remember that it was "for the joy" set before Him that He endured the cross and scorned it's shame.

So to, when I consider all that I am and have in Jesus, as well as what I truly deserve, that is where I too find true joy and peace in the midst of difficult circumstances. Then we can rejoice with the Psalmist in Ps 62:5-7:

5 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
6 He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
7 On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

One Way Easter Preaches to Men

As we celebrate our risen Savior on Easter Sunday, I also have the joy of celebrating another year of marriage to my beautiful wife.

As I worship Christ today and meditate on His sacrifice and glorious victory over to death, I cannot help but to also think about the gift of Amy.  The distance we've come, and the covenant of love that we share and also represent between Christ and His church.

I am not ashamed to admit the failures I have had in trying to love my wife well.  I am not ashamed because it always points me to the better Husband that I am to model.  It also gives me great hope to know that because Christ is the perfect groom to His bride, I too can love my wife well, and can see the evidence of that in the progressive sanctification in our marriage because of God's grace!

As I thought about these things on Good Friday, I was reminded of the song "The Church's One Foundation," and particularly of this verse:

The church's one foundation is Jesus Christ her Lord; she is his new creation by water and the Word. From heaven he came and sought her to be his holy bride; with his own blood he bought her, and for her life he died.

Men, if we would meditate on the sacrificial love and headship of Christ over His Bride, and love our wives truly, though we are flawed, as Christ loved the church, how many fights and problems would immediately be resolved? How much glory would God receive!

Lets take the rest of this Easter week to love our wives as Christ loved the church, in the strength that He provides and to the glory of the Father! Let us never forget that it is while we were still sinners that Christ died for us (Romans 5:8)!
He is risen indeed!

Afterthoughts on Anxiety

I just want to follow up briefly on my post yesterday on anxiety. 

I have friends that are going through incredibly difficult circumstances right now.  After thinking about them this morning, I realized that what I wrote yesterday may come across as harsh. 

Life in a sinful world can be intensely cruel and difficult.  Grief and sorrow will continue to persist this side of heaven. 

Jesus redeemed His bride so that she would be a witness to Himself in this world (we do such a poor job in so many ways).  Part of that witness is to extend the love, gentleness, and comfort to each other that He has extended to us.  Allowing anxiousness to persist will drive us to try to walk in our own strength, instead of in Christs by faith, and it will tempt us to desire that our will be done, and not His.

If we are committed to the joy and delight of our brothers in Christ, then we must be committed to striving for that end in the truth.  But we can't smash them over the head with it.  While what I said in yesterdays post, I believe is biblical, how those truths are communicated is just as important.

We are instructed to weep with those who weep, and to bear one anothers burdens.  We counsel with each other in gentleness and understanding.  We speak the truth in love.  We do all these things, and are able to do all these things,  because that is how Jesus is with us.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing (1Cor 13.1-3).
 

Anxiety

Anxiety is something that all of us can relate to on at least some level.  In some of us it is just an adverse feeling.  In others it is much more.  It can keep you awake at night, cause you to make poor decisions, cause panic attacks, obsessive compulsive disorder etc.  It seems that anxiety is never alone, it tends to be accompanied by things like fear, worry, anger, guilt, and/or depression.  While the process of getting there and its intensity varies, I think it something that all of us have probably experienced. 

I think there are three things that can cause anxiety.

The first is a difficult life circumstance such as illness or the death of a loved one. 

Second, is the result of another persons sin that effects your life, such as a rebellious child. 

Third, would be the result of personal sin in your own life left unreconciled at some level, such as abusiveness or adultery. 

While anxiousness can seem to be the most natural, and even loving response at times, the bottom line is that it is a sinful response, whatever the cause.  It is something that I have to fight against and confess fairly often, usually because of life circumstances.

The world and secular psychology would have us believe that we are victims.  It would have us deny our responsibility before a Sovereign God, and say that we are not held accountable for our responses to life or for the consequences of personal sin.  While that may sound harsh, it is true, and the only way for us to be set free is through the Truth.  Would we rather cope with our anxiety or experience the peace, hope and joy that only Christ can offer?

So how do we fight it? 

First we must recognize that it is sinful.  Phillipians 4 commands us to "be anxious about nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."  At its core, anxiety says that we do not believe that God is Sovereign, loving, or powerful enough to do anything about it. 

Secondly, we must loosen the death grip we are trying to have on life by controlling it, and grasp on to Gods great and precious promises which give us everything we need for life and godliness (2Peter 1.3-4). 

Third, keep up the good fight.  Continue to wage war on your sin, refusing to give into fear or believing that you are a victim.    "for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self control" 2 Timothy 1:7.  This third step means surrounding yourself with other believers, worship, prayer, reading scripture, and taking hold of the Truth by faith.

Life can be very hard, and the suffering we experience can be extremely difficult and real.  Christ was called the man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.  He is the God of all comfort, and before He was crucified He told His disciples "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation.  But take heart; I have overcome the world" (John 16:33).  

Whatever has brought us to the place of being anxious, Christ is enough.  Holding on to our anxiousness tells God that He is both impotent and insufficient for us.  It is prideful to think that our life is too big and important for God to sort out, and idolatrous to make anything bigger and more important than Him.  But He remembers our frame and that we are but dust.  He extends to us through Christ love, grace, mercy, and immeasurable power "...take heart; I have overcome the world."  We must remember, that like so many others before us, He often delivers us through the flames and not from them.

I know some people may have experienced counsel like this before and come to the conclusion of trashing their medication.  That is a bad idea, coming off medication should only be done under a Doctors supervision. 

Rory, O Rory, will we see you again?

Yesterday we saw the completion  of yet another Masters.  The beauty, the classical interludes, and of course, the Cinderella story of a young man from South Africa....tears in his eyes I guess...you know what I'm talkin about.  We also saw the near breakthrough of a young rising star named Rory McIlroy, only to witness yet another cataclysmic collapse.
Looking at the psychology of sports, golf in particular, can give us amazing insight into life in general, when viewed through the lens of Scripture.  Yesterday, was a perfect example of this.  Have you ever hear a golf announcer say something along the lines of "what a courageous shot!" or on the flip side, if you ever listened to Johnny Miller for more than two minutes, you've heard "that's all nerves right there!"  Yesterday was no different.  On the one hand, you saw the monumental collapse of young Rory, contrasted by the continual "fearlessness" of Angel Cabrera.  What is the "psychology of fear" in golf?  I mean, this fear is so intense that it literally drives men to leave the game, sometimes forces them out by way of the dreaded "yips!"
Fear is so basic to man! Nothing to fear but fear itself.  Take your fear and use it.  Fight or flight.  It can increase intensity, but it can also paralyze you.  It is, to say the least, very complicated.  So for the sake of simplicity, I want to deal with it at a basic level.  By basic I mean, not healthy fear given by God to prolong our lives, but unhealthy fear that attempts to destroy us, that leads to things like the yips, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, sleeplessness, or an ability to function in normal life.
Ultimately, all unhealthy fear comes from one of two areas.  The first is a deep disturbance in our inner man that we are not God.  We desire a control over our life and circumstance that God simply does not allow, He has reserved Sovereign rule for Himself.  The second, is a deep and sinful perspective that another human wields a superhuman power to utterly destroy.  There again, is a level of control that God does not allow, He alone is Judge.  To say it another way, sinful desire to control (be God) = unhealthy fear (because we're not God) = unhealthy attempt to control (control freak, OCD, perfectionist, manipulative etc.) = potential disaster (from ulcers to complete loss of function).
How do we recover from such fear?  1. Confess and repent, you are a not a victim.  2. Acknowledge and meditate on Gods Sovereign control, as well as His power and love towards His children (Ps 23, 46.1-2, Jer 17.5-8, Rom 8.15,28) .  3. Fear God (Matt 10.28).  The bottom line is that if you are in Christ, the wrath of God, that which is most truly fearful, has been satisfied.  There is nothing left to fear, because there is no possibility of separation from the love of God.  In the face of a horrific death, Paul says he would rather go through it because to finally be rejoined to his beloved Savior is better.  Jesus sweat drops of blood over the anguish of enduring the wrath of the Father on our behalf.  Part of His blood bought redemption is that we no longer have a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind (Rom 8.15).  Scripture says to Rory McIlroy, repent (and be saved if you are not), and play your golf to the glory of a Sovereign and loving God!
*I do want to say that there are things we fear naturally and the fear is healthy.  A situation like war, where fear is natural and healthy, but must still be overcome is different than why Rory or most of us experience fear.  Also, things like PTSD are also real, and must be overcome differently.  Still by God, but differently, as it is not a result of personal sin.     

Is it Christmas yet!?!?

I LOVE Christmas time.  I love the chill in the air (especially in Florida), I love the time with family, the beautiful lights, the food, the gifts we get and give, the smell of Christmas trees and fires, the time off work, the football, candlelight services, and seeing so many others in good spirits.
On the flip side, I also can tend to get a little depressed around February.  Everything is over, nothing to watch until March Madness, Christmas is over, New Years is over, been back to work for a while, turkey leftovers are gone, I long for the warmth of the sun, Christmas can't come soon enough.  Life goes on.
Circumstances and sin are two things that can often produce depression, anxiety, and fear in our lives.  While my experience with Christmas is not extremely significant, and I, as well as others, have experienced much worse, it does illustrate a couple of things to consider when we are going through (or helping someone go through) depression and anxiety.
The first is the value of how we respond.  There was a time in my life when everything around me seemed broken and unrecognizable, at the same time, there was a tremendous amount of sin in my life.  I went to a licensed therapist, was diagnosed as being clinically depressed, and given medication.  I did feel better, but nothing actually improved.  By the grace of God, some friends intervened in my life and encouraged me to get up and fight.  Through the Holy Spirits power, that is what I did.  I got back to work, back to school, I got up in the morning on time, ate well, and most importantly focused on my relationship with Christ.  I quit worrying about the future, living in the past, and acknowledged that today is where God had me, and in His sovereignty that was enough (Php 4). 
Our response in the midst of it is of the utmost importance.  God has created us in His image and part of that image is to work.  Eph 4 tells us that God has saved us by grace, so that we can work, and that the work has called us to do has been created beforehand (ordained) for us.  What you may find yourself going through is part of the work that God created you for. Amazingly, He does not leave it up to you to accomplish it in your own strength, but it is His strength working in you to accomplish what He has set you out to do (Ps. 37:39).  You can get up because He not only calls you to, but enables you to. 
Secondly, is the importance of our perspective.  The Elect are promised by Christ to suffer.  Life and our work is going to be hard, and depression and anxiety and fear may come.  One of the most powerful and deceptive aspects of depression and anxiety is the all encompassing universality that can be felt in the midst of it.  It is not abnormal to experience despair, many great men and women of faith have found themselves in "the dark night of the soul."  This is why our response is so important, and that as part of our response we cry out to God that we may feel the anchor of our soul that reaches in behind the veil to our hope...Christ (Heb 6:19).  While I like my Christmas illustration, there is a better and more powerful truth offered to us in Scripture.  While we are redeemed by Christ, and created to walk in the ordained works God has given to us, an eternal day of rest is coming.  That is what I am truly longing for when Christmas has come and gone, that is what Sundays point us to as we worship and fellowship and eat fried chicken, that is what will get you out of bed and back to work, when the world comes crashing down. 
We are going through "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan in Sunday school.  The first chapter addresses the intimacy and awesomeness of God that we can experience specifically through prayer, when we consider the Almighty God we are about to approach.  We were asked to give testimonies of times we have experienced this in our prayer life.  Almost unanimously, the testimony involved prayer during an intense time of suffering, anxiety, and depression.  Just like David in Psalm 73, when we take our perspective off of our circumstances and turn to meditate on our Almighty God, our troubles are overwhelmed and we too can declare "When my heart was embittered and I was pierced within, then I was senseless and ignorant; I was like a beast before You.  Nevertheless I am continually with You; You have taken hold of my right hand.  With Your counsel you will guide me, and afterward receive me to glory.  Whom have I in heaven but You?  And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."  

Sin and Hope

I have been in the certification process now for almost a month.  Probably the most important thing for me to keep in mind is to apply what I learn to myself first, as opposed to simply trying to absorb the information.  Just about everything I study, whether it is about anger, forgiveness, depression or whatever, has met me with the conviction of how far I fall short.  Being that Nouthetic counseling holds to the biblical position that ALL of our problems are a result of sin and living in a fallen world (again, there is not a denial of organic issues, but these, while not a result of personal sin and might necessitate medication, still exist because we live in a fallen world), I have found myself doing a lot of self-examination.  I have come to several conclusions.
The first is that I do not take my sin very seriously.  I think that I fall into the error of minimalizing sin so that grace may abound like Paul discusses in Romans.  I never would have thought that I do that, in fact any time I've read that passage I think how absurd the notion is!  But I do.  Not only do I generally minimize the wickedness of my sin, but I tend to judge the seriousness of sin according to its consequences upon my life or another's. The Holy Spirit used that to show me that while I don't take my sin seriously, the real issue is that I do not take the weightiness of God's glory and holiness very seriously either.  I do not cry out with David "against You and You only have I sinned!"  Instead I cry "God forgive me, but I don't think the consequences are going to be that bad, and I know your grace is infinite, so lets just keep the status quo."  Essentially, I tend to place myself at least on par with God. 
Praise God for His mercy!  It has led me into genuine repentance over several willful and persistent sins in my life.  How I desire to feel the weightiness of His glory and majesty, and to meditate on the fullness of being found in Christ.  God give me the grace to hear Paul urging the church to offer their bodies as living sacrifices, in light of God's great mercy (Rom 12).  I want to lose my life, so that I may find it (Matt 10:39).  What joy and power and true life we can find in this great seeming contradiction! Christ bids us "come and die," and there united with Him in His death, we can find the power of His resurrection at work within us.  I must deal with my sin swiftly, decisively, and daily.  My hope is knowing that "He who began the good work in you will be faithful to complete it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" (Php 1:8).  What a hope to sinners!

Sometimes counseling MEANS suffering

If someone approached you and said that sometimes in the counseling process it is determined that suffering is right where you need to be, how would you respond? If your first thought would be "wait a minute, that can't be right, the whole purpose of counseling is to alleviate suffering!", then you are probably where the majority of Americans and American churches are.  You are missing the point of your faith, if the point of your faith is Christ-likeness.  This is something that God has been working on in my life since I resigned as Pastor of a church in Indiana.  Suffering is sanctifying, and we, as Believers, are promised to go through it.

One of the biggest problems with secular, or even intigrationist counseling, is that it ultimately takes a man-centered approach to counseling.  The whole point is to alleviate pain and suffering.  While that is oversimplifying the point, this is a blog, not a dissertation and so we'll move on.  On the other hand, the objective of Nouthetic counseling is to bring glory to God by aligning yourself with His will through progressive sanctification.  The goal is Christ-likeness, which is the goal of our faith.

Christ was called "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief,"  regularly He wept over the sins of others and of Israel, sweat drops of blood in the garden over His upcoming separation from the Father, and promises to His Bride (the Church) that if He suffered, we will suffer; if the world hated Him, the world will hate us; and that though we will suffer in this world, we can take heart because He has overcome the world!  Suffering is not only a reality, but a necessity in the Sovereign will of God.  Romans 5 tells us that suffering has a sanctifying effect in the lives of Believers, and in the end actually leads to hope as we humble ourselves and submit to God in it.

So far my examples have been mostly situations where our suffering comes from without, from other people, but what about when our suffering is brought on from our battle within...our battle with our own sinful self?  Christ tells us that if we are to be His, that we must take up our cross and follow Him.  Paul, in Galatians tells us that we have been crucified with Christ, therefore we no longer live, but Christ lives within us.  Scripture is clear that while we are redeemed, we are still redeemed sinners, and that we must daily seek to mortify our flesh and wage war against it!  Jesus tells us to take drastic matters, such as plucking out your own eye if it causes offense to God.  Sin leads to death, and on the way to death can express itself in so many ways, such as depression, anxiety, fear, worry, obsessive compulsive disorder, eating disorders, suicide etc.  Sometimes to avoid these awful feelings we turn to substances that will mask them, rather than allowing them to humble us before God (I know I have).

Yes, as Christians we will (or at least should, if you're doing it right) suffer as we live in this world.  In that case suffering is good and glorifying to God and we should not always seek to relieve it.  Also, as Christians, we will suffer and be wounded in our fight against sin, this type of suffering (or discipline) should also not immediately seek to be relieved because God intends for it to serve a redemptive and sanctifying purpose as we allow it to submit us to God in humility.  Some of the great men and pillars of our faith as well as men of God that I know now struggle with what we have labeled as depression.  I can say with certainty, that some professional counselor seeking to remedy the situation is the last thing God wants.  Rather, I believe He would say, as He said to Paul "My grace is sufficient for you", and as He said to the disciples "take heart, for I have overcome the world."  My point, is that the goal of the Counselor is not to simply "get rid of the pain."  Many times the pain is a severe mercy, and the person seeking counsel as well as the counselor must recognize that God has ordained that the situation bring glory to Himself and greater Christ-likeness to the one going through it.  Once that step has been taken, then it is through prayer, discernment and the Word that should dictate if and how the suffering be alleviated.
If you are suffering today, remember that God is waiting to be to you the God of all comfort, even if it is to be within the fire, and not by removing you from it.  Let suffering have its work, He promises to use it for good. 

Where the Hell?

"Rock star" of the Emergent church, Rob Bell has recently published a new book "Love Wins:  Heaven, Hell and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived."  While the book is not set to release until March 15th, it has already created massive controversy and brings the question of heresy to the forefront of the discussion.  In his book, Bell supposedly espouses the notion that a loving God and loving Savior a: would never condemn anyone to hell, and b: that the love of God is more powerful than any sin, therefore, no one is going to hell.

This does seem to be wonderful, right?  Unfortunately, it would be devastating.  First, it makes a mockery of the Holiness and Justice of God.  All those stories of God obliterating entire Nations in the Old Testament are meant to show us one thing:  that God is intensely jealous of His own Glory and Holiness, and that all those who offend it are objects of wrath and in need of a Savior...Jesus Christ.  Secondly, it dethrones God of His rightful place in the center of the universe and places us there.  If Bell is right, then ultimately we are more valuable to God than He is to us, He obviously needs us in some way in order to be complete.  Third, it joins the angry mob at Calvary and spits on Christ at the cross.  While it would seem to magnify His love, it actually makes a mockery of it.  Christ's love shown on the cross is intensely focused on redeeming His Bride, the church, and that out of a white hot passion for the glory of the Father.  If His sacrifice covers literally the sins of the world, then that means it includes the sin of unbelief.  It includes atheists, totalitarians, secular humanists, racists etc.  I do not think God receives any glory in that.  He receives glory when people like that, by grace through faith, turn from their sins in humble repentance and confess Christ as Lord and Savior.  Fourth, it completely destroys the truth God's Word, the Bible...it becomes heresy.

So how does Nouthetic counseling fit in?  Like the Law in the Bible, disorders point us to one main truth...we have a serious problem.  Sin, and being sinners by nature and objects of Gods wrath (Eph 2:1-3).  Not only are disorders able to be used by the Spirit to bring an awareness of our natural state, but they are also able to bring a small taste of what Bell would consider to be an impossibility pertaining to our potential eternal state, Hell.  Anyone who has suffered from depression, OCD, suicidal thoughts, addiction to pornography, eating disorders etc, can attest to intense anguish and tears...temporarily.  In Matthew 8:12 Jesus Himself attests to the reality of a place of eternal "outer darkness...weeping and gnashing of teeth".  But (see Eph 2:4-10), He also holds out hope, peace, atonement for sins, and the  means of being eternally restored to the Father by His blood.  If He is able to redeem us from our eternal state, is He unable to restore us from our temporal state?
To verify what I have said about Bell's new book you can check out his website and watch a short video about it.

Therapy, miracles, and pudding

I guess this is where you have to say the proof is in the pudding.  Biblical counseling, at its core is not really about the method or even the wisdom of the words in the Bible.  At its core, it is about the Source of the words...the power and authority from whom they come.

I say the proof is in the pudding because therapy is all about results, whether it's self-enlightenment, finding your inner child, revisiting failures in previous life stages or shaping behavior.  This is where Nouthetic counseling runs circles around all other secular methods.  Using scripture puts us in intimate contact with the power of the One who spoke the words...who spoke the universe and everything in it into existence, who took on flesh and spoke audibly on this earth for thirty years.

My daughter is unable to speak, she has a neurological disorder called Apraxia.  She was evaluated today and placed in the lower 1 percent for her age in expressive communication.  This was actually a blessing because we are now able to get therapy once a week for free, which helped immensly and in itself is an answer to prayer (thank you again to those who prayed for us today).  I understand her situation is not a counseling situation, but it is a testimony to the power of praying friends, family and church.  It is also a testimony to the strength God provides to two parents when, in weakness, fall upon His word and promises and submit themselves to say "not our will, but yours be done."

Tonight Amelia quadrupled her vocabulary.  She said 6 words we have never heard before and three new vowel sounds.  I also overheard her mimicking the lady on her therapy DVD.  These are all things that she needed to happen and that we, and others, have been praying for.  This, if you understand Apraxia at all, is a miracle!  She should not have been able to do those things, especially not all at once. 

I have witnessed a coma patient wake up at the exact day and time prayed for in ICU, I have seen OCD overcome immediately through reading Scripture and prayer, and I have now seen a beautiful little girl who is not supposed to speak without years of therapy open her mouth and do just that.  Gods power crosses all boundaries whether mental, emotional, physical or spiritual, and is powerful to divide between soul and spirit, joints and marrow.  It places us directly in the way of the most powerful force in the universe, and if we will humble ourselves before Him, it will do its work upon us.  God says that His word will not return to Him void, but will accomplish its purpose!  I have seen that this is true.

What the heck does nouthetic mean?

I have had several people ask me what the heck nouthetic counseling is, so here it goes.
I suppose the best way to start is to share the definition given by the National Association of Nouthetic Counseling...NANC.

The word nouthetic comes from the Greek word nouqesia (nouthesia). It is a compound word meaning literally “to place into the mind.” It is usually translated “admonish” but that is a most inadequate translation. The problem is there is no English word equivalent to nouthesia so Adams thought it best to simply transliterate it into English and coin his own word so he could be sure it was defined correctly. In the word Adams finds three aspects:

1. The counselee has problems resulting from sin that must be resolved God’s way. 
2. These problems must be resolved by verbal confrontation using the Scriptures.
3. The resolution must be done out of love for the counselee to help him love God and enjoy Him in his life.[4]

Nouthetic counseling is counseling that uses Scripture to confront people about their sin with the goal of helping to restore them to usefulness (Gal. 6:1). Confrontation out of concern leading to change. It is of necessity directive and best done by those who have a thorough-going grasp of the Scriptures—Greek, Hebrew, and Systematic Theology—not by those immersed in secular systems of psychology. Taking his cue from Romans 15:14 Adams concluded, and then contended, that it was the believer who was filled with both goodness and the knowledge of God’s Word who was truly “competent to counsel.” Those who sought to counsel from a secular psychological stance or even a “Christian” psychological stance were usurpers whose wares were to be driven from the house of God.
http://nanc.org/About_Us/History.aspx

The basic idea is that all man is fallen in Adam and continues in sin from birth.  The noetic effects of sin on man is that the entire person is completely corrupted, an object of God's wrath and unable to come to the Truth apart from a divine work upon the heart, soul and mind.  Since that is true according to Scripture, then it is also true that any inorganic mental disorder is a result of sin and mans fallen nature.  To deal specifically with a persons "disorder" or dysfunctional behavior is to simply plug a hole in the dam, the deeper issue is the besetting sin behind it.  To further the analogy, if we are the dam and our sin is the mass of water contained behind it simply plugging holes where water (our sin) seeps through might solve the problem temporarily.  That is, until another breech is found and then another and so on.  A biblical approach to the matter would say that in Christ, as we come to a deeper knowledge and love of Himself, the water level itself begins to recede and while we are still frail and imperfect beings, as we abide in Christ, sin and its manifestations, will become less and less and we are conformed more and more into His image (2Pt 1:3-4).
Note: The reason I say any "inorganic mental disorder," is because most nouthetic counselors do recognize that there are certain organic (due to genetics or chemical imbalance) disorders which would occasionally require the use of medications.

Marriage and the Bride

Amy and I lead a growth group in our church, and we are currently working through the book: This Momentary Marriage, by John Piper.  Marriage and the family have been a passion of mine for about a decade.  It started by witnessing Gods restoration of my parents marriage which led to pursuing a Masters in Marriage and Family therapy and, eventually deciding to pursue a strictly biblical method of counseling.  Marriages are probably where I have seen God do the greatest works of restoration and healing.  While every step and breath of every humans life is ordained by God, marriage I believe, is something truly close to His heart because He designed it to bring Him much glory in a unique way.

Marriage is unique because it was designed by God to reflect who He is, specifically in Christ's relationship to the church and even in the distinct roles between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  This truth, when understood, exponentially increases the grevious state of marriage in America and even more so within the church.  Not only should it drive us to our knees in humble repentance over the state of our own marriages, but should also will bring an immense hope and even joy in the midst of even the worst of marital circumstances! 

While we seem to read 1 Cor 13 (the love chapter) in the context of our horizontal relationships, which is a true application, we must first understand love as a thing that is born in God.  We see this most clearly through Christ, and the redemption of His Bride by His death and ressurection.  All for the sake of His Fathers glory.  As Jesus perfectly exemplified all the characteristics of love described in 1Cor 13 toward us, we are commanded to reflect that love towards our spouses...does that not just bring you to your knees in humility!  How can we possibly indite our spouses when we know our own hearts and see Christ's love for us despite it.  The good news and our reason to hope, is that we KNOW through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and the faith which He gives, our love for our spouse can endure and not fail (in our weakness Christ's strength rests on us).  You can walk in victory in your marriage!

So we see how understanding and knowing God's love for us vertically not only informs but enables our love to others (specifically towards our spouse) horizontally, lets look quickly at how it not only informs and enables our love, but commands it, specifically within the covenant of marriage.

Ephesians 5:22-27 commands wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord, and for husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church.  This is why I say that marriage was created by God to not only bring Him glory, but to bring Him glory by reflecting Him as our loving and Covenant keeping God.  To give up on or break the covenant we have made with our spouses is to proclaim with our lives, that Christ is either not faithful to uphold covenant love or not powerful to uphold it.  As Christ took up His cross and redeemed His Bride in submission to and for the glory of the Father, we are able to and must also love our spouses well, first and formost in submission to and for the glory of our Father.

So what's the difference?

So what is the difference between a Nouthetic counseling program and one that equips for state licensure?  What about a secular licensed counselor and a licensed christian counselor?  And what about an integrationist?  There are certainly significant differences, and these differences can lead to pretty heated discussions!  Ultimately it comes down to conviction.  I am going to explain the differences and also talk a little about how I came to make the decision to pursue the Nouthetic path.
 
In 2005 I began a masters degree in marriage and family therapy at New Orleans Baptist Seminary that would allow me to apply for state licensure when I finished school and the other requirements.  New Orleans and 2005 may ring a bell, that was the same year Katrina hit, to say the least our plans were slightly adjusted!  Four months later we were in Louisville KY at Southern Seminary and I was hoping to continue my degree in counseling.  It was at that time that I came to realize there was no licensure available through the program because it was a "Nouthetic" or "Biblical" program, so what's the difference?  Basically,  a licensed counselor has studied the state required secular theories, and will use those theories in the counseling process.  A licensed Christian counselor will still study and use those same theories, but will attempt to intigrate the Bible and Christian principles as well.  There is also a possibility that the Bible will be absent, but things like divorce would not be considered as part of the process, and that's where the Christian part would come in.

When I first started out in New Orleans, I wanted to be licensed.  I saw potential value in the secular theories, and also saw an ministerial advantage to being licensed and being able to counsel with more unbelievers than without one.  Over time, and a continually growing love and understanding of the power of the Word of God (developed largely at Southern), God has shaped my coniviction to pursue a method of counseling that depends soley upon His Word.  I simply no longer see a way to intigrate secular theories and Biblical truths due to their drastically different presuppositions when approaching life and its messiness.  As you can imagine, that statement is what invites a number of criticisms and points of discussion.

I would like to invite further discussion and provide further explanation to anyone who would request it.  I think "pushing back" is necessary and beneficial, and does not need to breed arguments or dissention.  I hope this has been beneficial whether you agree, disagree, or are in the process of developing your own convictions on the matter.
 

My first blog...ever.

I was talking with a friend last night and mentioned to him that I must be the most technologically unsavy 32 year old in America; I don't tweet or facebook or myspace and seldom check an email...and to say the least, this is my first blog post.

I am excited though, as I believe that God is fulfilling a dream of mine and, I pray, will use me for His glory through it.  I have loved counseling since earning a BA in psychology at UF in 01'.  I have been passionate about Christian counseling since beginning a graduate degree in marriage and family therapy at New Orleans Baptist Seminary in 05', only to be set off track by Katrina a couple of months later.  Finally, 6 years later, God has shown me what has become one of my deepest passions and convictions;  His ability through the redemption of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit to offer a person hope, peace and love, and newness of life.  That is the power of Nouthetic counseling.  It is nothing less than the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ as revealed through Scripture.  The passage in Luke written at the top of the page explains what I mean, Jesus says of Himself:  "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because He has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.  He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."  

All of us know what it means to be poor, blind, held captive and oppressed spiritually because of our sin, and many of us have experienced those things mentally or physically as well, I know I have.  My purpose in this blog is join Jesus in "proclaiming the year of the Lord's favor"...because to the poor, He brings good news; to those held captive by sins and disorders, He brings liberty; to those who are blind to the truth that sets you free, He restores sight; and to those who are oppressed, He is able to liberate!  That is good news, that is the gospel, that is the power of Nouthetic counseling.